Words Do Hurt...Despite What You Might Think

I am a huge movie lover. My hometown theater is my go-to place. I am probably their most frequent customer. I try and go to the blockbusters there rather than any where else. I have hung out there for a solid 9 years now.

Anyways....I have a story to tell you. I know, I know. This is going to be a slightly different blog post than my usual.

I went to see a movie. It was a kids movie. Animated feature. Super cute! That pretty much sets the scene. Kids ranging from age 7 and younger. Everyone gets seated. The host explains the rules of the theater and then leaves. Some people arrived during previews. It is clear that they might not have heard the aforementioned announcement.

The movie begins. The whole thing was adorable. Singing and dancing and beautiful colors. Kids will be kids and they giggle and laugh with each scene. Sometimes it is really quiet in the movie and kids are still talking. I say Shh on occasion and it quiets down. The row behind me drops their nacho tray not once but twice. I say shh and the guy goes off on me and cusses me out with the f-bomb. Then calls me a fat ass. I am shaking in my seat. He told me to leave. So I did. I told an usher what happened and security was called down. The guy came out and acted all calm and tried to make me out to be the crazy one. I hate it when people do that. At this point I am shaking and we are going back and forth at an impasse as to who should be made to leave. Security offers me another showing but its getting late. I said I would leave. I should not have had to do that but I decided it was for the best. Some people just get everything they want and its wise just to not fight it sometimes.

I do not blame the movie theater for an experience like this. I blame the people that decide to be jerks. The theater handled the situation really well. Unfortunately I had to leave but I will certainly be back at a later date.

I will say this: I have not been hurt this badly since I was in high school. I normally let things slide off me like a duck in water but I will not stand for bullies of any age.

Melody out!

Hiatus

A hiatus does not mean I am giving up on anything. I just need a break. Everything in my life has suddenly caved in on me and I need time to process it all. One thing at a time and one day at a time

I am having horrible luck with guys so that is on the back burner and that's okay. I am not worried about it. Love will happen when it happens. All in God's timing and God's will. Even if it doesn't happen, I will be okay. There is always an adventure out there for me to take alone.

Work has cut my hours down to an unlivable wage. I am so discouraged by that whole situation. People keep lying about me and it really hurts. I work so hard and it doesn't matter. No one sees and no one believes that I can do my job. Why do people have to be so hateful and tear people down? Lately I talk to God during my patrols. Its comforting.

Its comforting to know that He hears His child crying out. He sees when no one else does. God sees everything. I have that tiny comfort. Some days I ask myself why I even try so hard at everything I do. My life is precious and obviously God put me here for a purpose. Over the years I learned exactly what that purpose looks like.

I am a servant. I always look for ways to help. Some days I feel like the dust under peoples feet. I have been this way for as long as I could remember. I am a servant that serves unconditionally without expecting anything in return. I never say, "oh someone else will take care of it." I don't like it when people develop that attitude. Sometimes nothing gets done if someone doesn't step up to do it.

Maybe things will get better. Who knows?

I just hope I find a job soon.

Melody out!

Depression and Relationships

When you have depression, everyday life is already pretty hard. Add in a romantic relationship and that can go one of two ways. Really good or really bad. In my case I have very bad luck with guys. All of that aside in a pile and I have a story that will hopefully help people to understand more of what is going on in their partners head. Lets start with the definition and the what my case is.

• Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Its not something you have control over and often you need medication for it and sometimes therapy or both.

In my specific case, I have Bipolar Type 2 or Bipolar Depression. This means I go into a depressed state from 2-3 days to an entire week sometimes. At times there is no reason at all for this it just happens. Sometimes there is a reason for it. I am currently not on any medication but I have found something over the counter that seems to help.

I hope this helps someone out there understand themselves or their partner.

Feel free to contact me if you need someone to understand.

Melody out!

About the Blogger

Hey!

My whole name is.................. 22 letters long. For purposes of anonymity I will use my Alias: Melody. I am a young, single, 20 something that needs a place to speak my mind. I think writing is the best way to do that. I also have a Youtube channel, play the flute, and I love animals of all kinds.

This blog will give you a unique look into my mind and my everyday frustration and joy.

This blog was started back in my college days. I have since removed all the posts from school and converted this into a personal blog. I just write whatever is on my mind. Sometimes I am in a deep mood and other times I feel like ranting about something. Sometimes it is something in between. Some of the posts are about Movies and Series that touched me in some way or I felt like talking about them.

Enjoy my blog! Comment and Follow if you want. There is no regularly scheduled posts yet.

Melody out!

How to Get Through the Holiday Blues: Alone on Every Holiday.

From the first time I started working for a large company of some kind, I have always had to sacrifice a lot around the holidays. I always longed for that ideal family togetherness but never seemed to feel it and may never truly get it.

The holidays are always so depressing to me. I have a love/hate relationship with the holiday season. This year is no different. Because of the post I work at, I will have to spend every single holiday alone in a little tiny guard shack with a couple space heaters for my company.That is not what I was expecting. This year I plan to take a different approach. I will put all my effort into making the best of the situation.

Here are a few tips to help you guys out.

• Get holiday themed decorations- I plan to put up lights in our window and I will get a small present for my supervisor. My little tree will be all dressed up and sitting on my windowsill in my room. 
• Get holiday themed foods- I plan to get a thanksgiving meal for Thanksgiving, Cookies for Hanukkah/ Christmas, and something sparkly for New Years. 
• Watch holiday themed movies- That will not be hard to rig up.
• Lastly text my SO and family- Even when I can't be there in person, I will still text my family on the day of the holiday. 

It might be depressing and I might be shedding tears about it at the moment, but I think I will make it through the holidays with just a little frostbite on my fingers.

Melody out!