Hiatus

A hiatus does not mean I am giving up on anything. I just need a break. Everything in my life has suddenly caved in on me and I need time to process it all. One thing at a time and one day at a time

I am having horrible luck with guys so that is on the back burner and that's okay. I am not worried about it. Love will happen when it happens. All in God's timing and God's will. Even if it doesn't happen, I will be okay. There is always an adventure out there for me to take alone.

Work has cut my hours down to an unlivable wage. I am so discouraged by that whole situation. People keep lying about me and it really hurts. I work so hard and it doesn't matter. No one sees and no one believes that I can do my job. Why do people have to be so hateful and tear people down? Lately I talk to God during my patrols. Its comforting.

Its comforting to know that He hears His child crying out. He sees when no one else does. God sees everything. I have that tiny comfort. Some days I ask myself why I even try so hard at everything I do. My life is precious and obviously God put me here for a purpose. Over the years I learned exactly what that purpose looks like.

I am a servant. I always look for ways to help. Some days I feel like the dust under peoples feet. I have been this way for as long as I could remember. I am a servant that serves unconditionally without expecting anything in return. I never say, "oh someone else will take care of it." I don't like it when people develop that attitude. Sometimes nothing gets done if someone doesn't step up to do it.

Maybe things will get better. Who knows?

I just hope I find a job soon.

Melody out!

I'm Back!!!

Lately I have been observing myself from another perspective.

Sometimes I am silly and goofy but other times I impress myself a little. I really have matured over the years. This is not a post about me. Trust me I am not a narcissist, but I just thought this would get you readers to think a bit. I have an interesting habit of challenging people to think. Sometimes it works; sometimes it blows up in my face. I think its a good thing.

It the last month 4 people have come to me and asked for my forgiveness for something that happened in the past. I am not one to hold a grudge but this struck me. I realized that with time passing I almost forgot what these people did to me. I have matured enough as a person to let things go. I was never really able to do that back when I was in school.

I used to get upset a lot too. When I lost a game or when plans changed all the sudden. I still get frustrated but I have learned to be more flexible. What was it that the Karate sensai say? Bend like grass with the wind. Flow like a river bending around every mountain. I found that life is more enjoyable when I am not so frustrated about things out of my control.

I promise, you guys, that I will be writing more posts very soon. I have just been busy being an adult and growing up. Its a shame my parents have not noticed a thing or they are just having trouble letting go of their only baby.

Fluteplayer777 out!