About the Blogger

Hey!

My whole name is.................. 22 letters long. For purposes of anonymity I will use my Alias: Melody. I am a young, single, 20 something that needs a place to speak my mind. I think writing is the best way to do that. I also have a Youtube channel, play the flute, and I love animals of all kinds.

This blog will give you a unique look into my mind and my everyday frustration and joy.

This blog was started back in my college days. I have since removed all the posts from school and converted this into a personal blog. I just write whatever is on my mind. Sometimes I am in a deep mood and other times I feel like ranting about something. Sometimes it is something in between. Some of the posts are about Movies and Series that touched me in some way or I felt like talking about them.

Enjoy my blog! Comment and Follow if you want. There is no regularly scheduled posts yet.

Melody out!

No One Will See This

A combination of things can break someone. Over the last 4 weeks I have been humbled again and again. Here is the Evidence:

-1 I was laid off a temp job.
+1 I met a really nice guy.
-1 Then the first week of the year I got in a car accident which totaled my car.
+1 I came out alive.
-1 Said guy only wanted to be friends
-2 Two of my closest friends are moving away.
-1 I can't find a job.

That brings the grand total to -4.

I am in a really dark place. What I don't understand is why everything I touch falls apart. The excuse could be bad timing but I think its more than that. In my pride I thought I could handle it but now I don't have anything at all.

+1 I have a roof over my head.
+1 I am healthy
+2 I have a room and a bed to sleep in.

This brings the grand total back to 0. Equilibrium.

I have splayed the evidence scientifically with +1 or -1 for good and bad things. My observations tell me that life has a way of balancing out. There always seems to be enough positive to balance out the negative. As Malcolm said in Jurassic Park, "Life finds a way"

One thing I have learned is to always have a plan B. Here goes more evidence.  Even though I do not have someone to join me now, I still plan on going for a couple hikes this summer. I honestly don't care that I will be alone. Even though I don't have a car, I still plan on taking walks and getting out for some fresh air. I honestly don't care that I will be alone. Just because I am alone, that doesn't mean I am lonely. :)

I may be in a perpetual valley, but I always seem to pick myself back up and keep going.

Fluteplayer777 out!

I love Lucy...my car!

Friday January 9^th I was in a car accident that took my most valuable possession: my car, Lucy. With that my whole world crumbled around me. I have nothing left but my faith and my health. Of course I still have a place to sleep and a roof over my head. I am grateful for that too.

Today I am hurting all over. Today I am humbled. With everything gone I am forced to start from square one. It’s like I am back in time. Back when I was kicked out of Lab school. I was so sure that I was meant to be there. For the next three months I was lost. I had no clue what was next. Then I picked myself back up and went back to school. I think I can do the same here.

It’s interesting. I had my car and a job but no boyfriend and now it’s the opposite. No car, no job but I am sort of seeing someone. I have no clue what God is doing but I think it will be better when this all balances out. That is all I want: stability and certainty.

So I took a walk.  I went down to the giant parking lot where I learned how to drive. Naturally I broke down. Then I went into the church where they held the Baccalaureate service for my high school graduation. I sat there for about 10 minutes. Praying and reflecting. I came to the realization that maybe God doesn’t think I can balance it all right now. I guess He had to humble me and break me to make me understand that. He wants me happy but balanced on His terms.

This is just my thoughts on all this. I will be recording a video for this week.

Fluteplayer777 out! -Melody

Back to the Beginning: A Reflection

I remember a time when one of my biggest fears was becoming an Adult.

I have always had one fear or another. A constant one is the fear of heights. Other fears change as I get older.

Well today after work I took myself back to that time. I stopped by one of the parking lots where I learned how to drive. I remember my fears and thoughts during that time. 9 years ago I faced the fear of becoming an adult along with the hope that once I got my licence I would become a little more independent. At the time I was still in college and just beginning that journey. The next January I got my Youtube channel.

I sat in my car this evening and cried. Then I got a sudden revelation. Look how far I have come since then!

I graduated University with a Bachelors Degree- Magna Cum Laude.
I paid off the car I am sitting in.
My Youtube channel is coming along.
My music has progressed beautifully.

On top of all this I have grown as a person and my faith is stronger than ever.

During this dry spell filled with darkness and depression I found a little light that reminded me that no matter what anyone else may say, I have changed and for the better.

It is so important to go back to the beginning in your memories. This provides a different point of view of your life from a past self perspective. The Kat that was 18 would be so proud of the Kat that I am now. She would also maybe want to do things differently. I would not change the past even if I could. Those battles made me stronger and left some scars to remember. I hope this revelation helps someone out there struggling with depression.

Fluteplayer777 out!

Can't Sleep....Music on the Mind....

I am thinking about doing some of my own arrangements on the channel.

I have three more pieces nearing completion. I will still be doing the Concert Series. In addition to all of this I got an idea I have not seen before.
I plan to do a blooper reel with a clapper board that says KLUTZ on it. So fitting. More on that another time.
In the next couple of days I plan to update my Blog with 4 new Blog posts that I wrote down but did not have time to type up.

In other news  I added a Donate link to my Youtube channel for all that want to support my efforts.

Much much later down the line I would love to do a charity live stream to bring music back to schools.

I will look into that but for now I bloom where I am planted so to speak.

Fluteplayer777 out!

New Idea!

Lately I have been getting some feedback from people about my channel.

One such comment was that I am not entertaining. I wanted to elaborate on that and share my thoughts about that comment. It was commented by one of my closest friends. It sort of hurt but then I got to thinking about it and I realized something.

Youtube is not my first priority. 

I have so much going on right now. I work full time. I am working on a few arrangement projects. I am busy with my synagogue. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. My birthday is coming up. Let's face it, I am one busy lady. 

I still plan to stick with Youtube but I need to do things differently and learn how to edit my videos. I am going to try out Filmora and see how that works. I plan to add a blooper reel with a clapper board to make it fun. I am still doing the concert series but with less talking. I plan to prepare more videos ahead of time. I also have like 6-10 videos waiting to be uploaded. 

I know there is a lot to work on and improve on but it all happens very slowly. I appreciate how much time it takes to do Youtube. I did not understand just how much work goes into this. Now that I understand I need to plan accordingly. Once the holidays are over I should have a better schedule of things. For right now one video a week is as good as I can do and this should be good enough. 

As far as my friends comment is concerned, I don't really care. My channel will evolve as time goes on and I will become a better musician in the process. In the end I do Youtube and music for me. I do it for my sanity. It is my anti-depressant. If I can share my gift with just one person then I have achieved my basic goal.

If anyone has any ideas or comments please feel free to try to reach out to me. Constructive criticism is always welcome but bashing and bullying is not allowed on any of my social media pages/profiles/channel.

Fluteplayer777 out!

New Setup and other news.

I have a new bed in my room so my desk was downsized. I am loving my new room. However this will require some adjusting to make room for recording.

I am working on 5 other pieces so I won't be recording much. I still should post my older videos.

Here is the most recent.

https://youtu.be/xHuH7jnyek0

Enjoy and I will see you guys soon.

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Byebye