What Valentine’s Day Means to Me?

Okay so this year Valentine’s Day came and went but something rather odd happened the day before.

I play videogames online. You all know about that since I wrote about my favorite game. Anyways one of the guys I play with asked me to be his Valentine. I am not sure if he understood the meaning of the word, but I said yes. Just to give some more information. Valentine means you spoil someone for a day. They don’t have to be your significant other. Well I decided it was cute and moved on. The day before Valentine’s Day he told me he liked me. Well, there are many issues with that but this is where the story ends. I told him the truth and let him stew for a while. I am not into younger guys and long distance is not my thing either.

A little background to the story: This guy is 22 years old and lives 2 states north of me. This would not work out for 2 very important reasons. First, I am 29 nearly 30 and I would never date a guy 8 years younger than me. The second thing is that long distance rarely works out. In addition to all of this, I believe in some form of education or at least a really good job to support a family. I rarely see any guys really work at this part of their lives. That is a third reason not to date someone.

Basically, I have my preferences like anyone else. I also do not like leading people on and I do not believe that age is nothing but a number. My range is between 2 years younger and up to 5 years older. Otherwise it’s creepy and the generation gap is intense. I prefer having someone nearby to hang out with and talk regularly. I have seen several friends torn up by long distance and it did not end up working out. So my conclusion is that it’s probably not worth taking the risk unless I really like the person and we would be seeing each other regularly each month but with everyone’s busy schedule, it is really hard to travel a few states over to visit.

So anyways, my philosophy about Valentine’s Day goes like this. Love everyday not just one day a year and spoil someone at some point, just because you can. Do not lead anyone on when it comes to the affairs of the heart. Also make sure you know the definition of a Valentine so you don’t get your heart broken on the most heart filled day of the year.

Melody

Am I Really Making the Right Choices? Part 2

The other day I began to think about my current situation. I live with my family.

Is that a bad thing? Not really and I will tell you why.

Financially it is difficult to live on your own and with the present economy, good work is hard to come by. I would have to be married and combine incomes with my spouse to survive. That is the reality of today's economy.

Don't get me wrong. I do not live in my parents home for free. I do help out around the house and I pay rent. I also have a car payment but still I make things work out while I'm here. This brings be to my next dilemma.

Would I move out with a boyfriend if he asked me to? No. I do not believe in this living arrangement(See part 1 for that explanation). Also, I would not be in a relationship with someone that does not believe in marriage. My romantic relationships, or lack thereof, is the only thing that seems to be difficult with my present arrangement but I believe that the right guy will understand my situation, not judge me for it,  and we can still go out and have fun.

Do I want to move out? Yes. Eventually
Is that feasible right now? No.
Is that a bad thing? No.

-Melody

Am I Really Making the Right Choices? Part 1

Many times throughout the day I ask myself. "Are you really making the right choices in your life?" While second guessing myself is both harmful and beneficial, I think it helps to be confident in my choices. Often the world says something is acceptable but I am over here thinking, "Would God approve?"or "Is that what I really believe inside?"

The first thing I have had on my mind a lot has been my romantic relationships. Should I date or should I try courtship? Or maybe a mixture of both. Start out casually dating while in a group of friends and then get more serious and start courting someone. Truthfully courtship scares me. I have had bad experiences with both types of relationship but if the right person comes along I am willing to give it a chance.

The second thing that I have on my mind a lot is my choice to remain abstinent until marriage. The world definitely has a strong opinion on this topic. I know plenty of people that have no problem sleeping with someone if it "feels right". I also know people on the opposite end of this topic that believe I am doing the right thing and that someone will be forced to fall in love with me for who I am and not what my body can do for them. That sounds great but I can tell you that I have had a ton of guys tell me they can't date me because I won't sleep with them. It is depressing when I remember those guys but hey it's their loss. 

The third thing, that goes along with the second thing, is marriage versus living together. I believe both have different meaning. When married, laws apply to you and your spouse and leaving is not that easy because of alimony and child support and all that. This includes joint bank accounts and joint taxes(if you live in the US). My personal belief is that divorce is only allowed if there was abuse, verbal or physical, or if there was cheating.  Both are severely destructive and hurtful. Living together is a completely different arrangement. You can easily leave and laws do not bind you at all. I feel like it is a way to get what you both want without tying yourself together by law. You can still have separate lives away from each other. Separate bank accounts and even separate bedrooms although you might still sleep in one room on occasion. I do not know the details of this lifestyle but it seems a little distant to me.  Marriage is about uniting as one. Living together is still two people living under one roof. 

Those three things were pertaining to relationships.  There are a few more things that come to mind but I will cover those in another post. 

--Melody

Depression and Relationships

When you have depression, everyday life is already pretty hard. Add in a romantic relationship and that can go one of two ways. Really good or really bad. In my case I have very bad luck with guys. All of that aside in a pile and I have a story that will hopefully help people to understand more of what is going on in their partners head. Lets start with the definition and the what my case is.

• Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Its not something you have control over and often you need medication for it and sometimes therapy or both.

In my specific case, I have Bipolar Type 2 or Bipolar Depression. This means I go into a depressed state from 2-3 days to an entire week sometimes. At times there is no reason at all for this it just happens. Sometimes there is a reason for it. I am currently not on any medication but I have found something over the counter that seems to help.

I hope this helps someone out there understand themselves or their partner.

Feel free to contact me if you need someone to understand.

Melody out!

Degrassi Season 11 Part 1 Finale

Night Owl here...Reporting on Degrassi Now or Never Season 11.

Wow that title was a mouthful. However that finale left me speechless... I wasn't surprised at how things ended. It certainly had me on the edge of my seat in suspense.

I've been watching Degrassi since I was about 15 or 16 years old. I'm nearly 23 and this series never gets old. I love that it explores topics that are very real to all teenagers. The show is so realistic that certain parts had me tearing up a little. I'll discuss some of my favorite characters below. Starting with the female characters.

Clare: I love her because she is so passionate about those that she cares about. The problem with that is that she always seems to get her heart broken. I loved her paired with Eli but when she and Jake got together I thought it was even cuter. Then they find out that their parents are getting married. I wonder what will happen there. Part 2 of Season 11 should answer that question. She is a little too dramatic for my taste.

Fiona: She has her issues but who doesn't. I feel that I can relate to her a little more than the other characters. I will elaborate on that in my next blog post. At the end of Part 1 of Season 11 she is left alone at Degrassi. I wonder what heights she will reach. I also hope she gets help for her temptation. I no longer call her an alcoholic or an addict to alcohol. I'd say she's grown a lot since her last binge. Now she merely falls to her temptations when she is very sad about something, which is not the right way to go about dealing with her emotional problems.

Holly J: If there was an award for Most Improved I would give it to Holly J. Over the course of the last 5 seasons I watched her go from a horrible snob with no likability factor to a really sweet young woman destined for greatness. I used to hate her so much. She was so mean to Anya and all the others. Once she found a niche in the school she flourished like a plant in rich soil. When she got sick I got a soft spot for her. I felt bad that she was the one that ended up with a horrible illness involving her kidneys. At the end of Part 1 of Season 11 she got her long awaited kidney transplant and of course it had to be the same day as prom. Her friends had no problem making her feel amazing despite the fact that she was missing her senior prom. Who cares about prom when your going to Yale. Seriously. :)

Anya: She's not at the top of my list but she's pretty high up there. My favorite trait of hers is her vulnerability. It makes her such an attractive person to the male characters (Owen and Sav). It also gives her an edge that none of the other characters have. When I first saw her she was doing a sticker book with Sav. I was like wow very immature. Then her mom got cancer and she had to grow up real quick. Now roughly 5 seasons later she is a grown young woman. I commend her for deciding to give the army a try. It would be nice to see her in a future episode in a uniform promoting the army at Degrassi.

Bianca: She always struck me as a really tough girl. Everyone is afraid of her but some how the guys are attracted to her despite their fear that she could kill them or have them killed. When she got together with Drew, I really liked them as a couple. They looked good together. I knew it wasn't meant to be. Especially after Drew got bloodied up by a gang. She still cares and tried to save his life by basically sacrificing hers. That is the actions of a true friend. I saw the way he was looking at her at prom but I honestly think his heart lies with Katie.

Katie: The over achiever. I loved her character right from the off. I may be a female but I have permission to say that she is a very beautiful young woman and I wish I looked like her. As far as her achieving, I wish I had that too. She is a breath of fresh air to Degrassi. Now she's also class president. She is tough but there is a sensitivity there which is so beautiful.

Ms. Oh: She has been the center of attention in all the male characters eyes. She was hurt a lot in relationships. I could totally see her with Sav. I was so sad to see their romantic moment interrupted by school violence during prom. But this is Degrassi. Of course it would happen like this. Sav has left Degrassi and the end of Part 1 of Season 11. I doubt he would be back. If he was to come back I would love for Ms. Oh to have a real man.

Imogen: I thought she was so crazy when she first came on the scene. Then she brutally got her heart broken by Eli. I found her to be a rather unique addition to the Degrassi crew. She lays down her own self esteem to make things better for everyone. She made her nose bleed for Eli. She accepted a gift from Bianca. The two looked like they might be friends but it is uncertain. As weird as her character is, I see a sense of maturity in her eyes. Even thought she acts like a child at times, she still seems to have some maturity about her. I foresee that she will mature during her time at Degrassi just like the other characters.

The guys are a whole other story

Drew: I always thought Drew was a very versatile character. He and Bianca were a really cute couple but she is not his type. He took up fighting toward the end of Part 1 of Season 11. This made him really attractive. After the gang beat up on him, he and Bianca broke up because of the restraining order. Drew got together with Katie. I think she is better suited for him. Adam is Drew's little brother.

Eli: He is one of my favorite Degrassi guys. He and Clare stole my heart in the middle of Season 10. They had a short romance but she helped him with his hoarding issue. Then he became infatuated by her to the point of obsession. At end of Season 10 he seems to loose his marbles and crashes his hearse in an attempt to win her back. At the beginning of Season 11 he starts taking medication. Then stops so he can unleash his creativity to write the school play which he and Fiona are co-producing. Eventually the lack of meds causes him to hallucinate. He seems to really go crazy over Clare and everything. After the play he is diagnosed with bipolar and is put back on meds. I like him better after he's on the right meds and when he is trying to be a friend to Clare versus wanting to be with her. At prom he finds out that Clare and Jake are to be step siblings. He says he's sorry and they both smile at each other.

Jake: Jake and Clare dated during the first part of Season 11. I thought they were adorable together but now that their parents are getting married they can't be together. They will be step siblings. I don't like how he handled the news. His dad may deserve to be happy but what about him. I would have reacted just like Clare did. Other than all that I like Jake. I loved the moment in the sweat lodge when they first confessed their love to each other with the aid of none other than Eli. Then were locked in alone and made out for a while until the teacher showed up.

Adam: I love Adam. He may be FTM trans-gendered but I love his personality. I will use the pronoun he because thats the way he feels. The most important episode for Adam happened during Season 10. "My Body is a Cage". He tells Eli and Clare the truth. They still accept him for who he is "between the ears" as he likes to say. Adam is the first Trans-gendered kid on Degrassi. This causes many problems but once Season 11 rolls around he seems to be fitting in despite the fact that his brother Drew is having issues and nearly forces a move. At the end of part 1 of Season 11 Adam ends up getting shot at prom by a stray bullet from Vince's gun. Hearing Adam scream really made me emotional. Then Clare and Eli kept reassuring him that girls love scars. Adam replies, "until I take off my shirt". There may be some foreshadowing there.

Sav: He first appeared on the scene in Season 8. At first I didn't really like him but as he warmed up to Degrassi, he seemed to find his niche. I enjoyed watching him grow as a person. He was an adorable boyfriend and a very loyal friend. I was sad to see him leave.

So now we wait until Part 2 of Season 11. It is due to come out the first or second week of October 2011.

Night Owl out.