2017-New Year, New You?

Well its half way through the first month of the year and already a lot of positive things have happened. I am honestly a little overwhelmed.

First I was able to connect with several people about open positions in their companies; mostly family members and friends this time. The first few came back with temp positions that lasted for 3 months or part time 3 days a week. Then a major opportunity fell into my lap from a friend on Facebook. On the first day, I was called for a phone interview, the next day I came in for a second in-person interview, and the next day they called and offered me a job. The conditions were acceptable. The only thing is that it is temp to hire to see what I can do. I am a little worried but since I will be trained, I feel a little better about it. Now I am just waiting for them to start background checks and all that. While I wait the next couple of weeks for processing, I plan to read up on the stock market and how it all works. As terrified as I am, this whole thing is exciting. I believe I can do it.

Next I visited a few churches in the last couple of weeks. I ended up coming back to New Life church. It is a Slavic Evangelical church that I have been to before. I ended up at a service on a Friday night. It turned out to be a youth service but no one kicked me out. Instead they asked me to go ahead and join them for the evening. The pastor even said that the youth ministry could use a lot of help in all aspects. I plan to email him about that and start coming regularly on Fridays. And eventually on Sunday when I get settled into a new schedule. I immediately felt that God was telling me that this was my new home. I felt God saying, "This is where I need you to be."

New Year, New me? For sure! This is shaping up to be a really great year. I just need to keep leaning on my faith and really listening to God.

Next Step: Figure out how to fit a running schedule into my day.

Happy New Year!

Well its official. 2016 was one of the hardest years of my life but somehow I managed to grow from those experiences. I am so glad it has finally come to a close.

Just a recap of 2016.
I was in a car accident in January. My car was totaled.
I got a job as a security guard in February. To this day my parents hate that choice of job and frequently start fights about it.
About 5 months after started said job I got a second post at a Baptist church.
Shortly after that I left my own congregation and to this day I do not go to any house of worship.
I dated a few guys and one stuck around for all of a month before realizing that we were not right for each other and he was faking it the entire time.
Shortly after that I deleted one dating site profile and switched to another one. No luck there. Frankly, it is discouraging.

Now that whole year is over. 2017 is upon us and the first thing I felt on the first day of the new year was hope. I felt hopeful for the first time in years. A new year. A new beginning. I have a few goals for this year.

1. Travel more around Georgia. Waterfalls and hikes.
2. Get the Youtube channel up and running.
3. Start an exercise regime of some kind. ie running on the neighborhood on my days off.

Those are just the beginning. The rest is up to God. I just know this year will be awesome.

Happy New Year!!!

Words Do Hurt...Despite What You Might Think

I am a huge movie lover. My hometown theater is my go-to place. I am probably their most frequent customer. I try and go to the blockbusters there rather than any where else. I have hung out there for a solid 9 years now.

Anyways....I have a story to tell you. I know, I know. This is going to be a slightly different blog post than my usual.

I went to see a movie. It was a kids movie. Animated feature. Super cute! That pretty much sets the scene. Kids ranging from age 7 and younger. Everyone gets seated. The host explains the rules of the theater and then leaves. Some people arrived during previews. It is clear that they might not have heard the aforementioned announcement.

The movie begins. The whole thing was adorable. Singing and dancing and beautiful colors. Kids will be kids and they giggle and laugh with each scene. Sometimes it is really quiet in the movie and kids are still talking. I say Shh on occasion and it quiets down. The row behind me drops their nacho tray not once but twice. I say shh and the guy goes off on me and cusses me out with the f-bomb. Then calls me a fat ass. I am shaking in my seat. He told me to leave. So I did. I told an usher what happened and security was called down. The guy came out and acted all calm and tried to make me out to be the crazy one. I hate it when people do that. At this point I am shaking and we are going back and forth at an impasse as to who should be made to leave. Security offers me another showing but its getting late. I said I would leave. I should not have had to do that but I decided it was for the best. Some people just get everything they want and its wise just to not fight it sometimes.

I do not blame the movie theater for an experience like this. I blame the people that decide to be jerks. The theater handled the situation really well. Unfortunately I had to leave but I will certainly be back at a later date.

I will say this: I have not been hurt this badly since I was in high school. I normally let things slide off me like a duck in water but I will not stand for bullies of any age.

Melody out!

Hiatus

A hiatus does not mean I am giving up on anything. I just need a break. Everything in my life has suddenly caved in on me and I need time to process it all. One thing at a time and one day at a time

I am having horrible luck with guys so that is on the back burner and that's okay. I am not worried about it. Love will happen when it happens. All in God's timing and God's will. Even if it doesn't happen, I will be okay. There is always an adventure out there for me to take alone.

Work has cut my hours down to an unlivable wage. I am so discouraged by that whole situation. People keep lying about me and it really hurts. I work so hard and it doesn't matter. No one sees and no one believes that I can do my job. Why do people have to be so hateful and tear people down? Lately I talk to God during my patrols. Its comforting.

Its comforting to know that He hears His child crying out. He sees when no one else does. God sees everything. I have that tiny comfort. Some days I ask myself why I even try so hard at everything I do. My life is precious and obviously God put me here for a purpose. Over the years I learned exactly what that purpose looks like.

I am a servant. I always look for ways to help. Some days I feel like the dust under peoples feet. I have been this way for as long as I could remember. I am a servant that serves unconditionally without expecting anything in return. I never say, "oh someone else will take care of it." I don't like it when people develop that attitude. Sometimes nothing gets done if someone doesn't step up to do it.

Maybe things will get better. Who knows?

I just hope I find a job soon.

Melody out!

Depression and Relationships

When you have depression, everyday life is already pretty hard. Add in a romantic relationship and that can go one of two ways. Really good or really bad. In my case I have very bad luck with guys. All of that aside in a pile and I have a story that will hopefully help people to understand more of what is going on in their partners head. Lets start with the definition and the what my case is.

• Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Its not something you have control over and often you need medication for it and sometimes therapy or both.

In my specific case, I have Bipolar Type 2 or Bipolar Depression. This means I go into a depressed state from 2-3 days to an entire week sometimes. At times there is no reason at all for this it just happens. Sometimes there is a reason for it. I am currently not on any medication but I have found something over the counter that seems to help.

I hope this helps someone out there understand themselves or their partner.

Feel free to contact me if you need someone to understand.

Melody out!