Promise Ring: What does it mean to me?

Okay, so what is a promise ring and what does it mean? What is the promise?

Basically, a promise ring, also known as a purity ring is a symbol of a promise to remain abstinent until marriage. It is normally tied to the Christian faith but I have met people that decided this was the path they wanted, regardless of religion.

Let me start from my beginning. All through high school and college I attended a Messianic Synagogue. I was in the youth group too. There was a lot of talk about modesty. This came naturally to me but there was a time we talked about abstinence until marriage. I do not remember the exact time I learned about abstinence until marriage but it was shortly after that, I started wearing a ring. My ring was stolen in gym class and later that year my dad replaced it for me for graduation.

Anyways it was not until college that I started to really take thing seriously. I was never the type to sleep around either. I have been through my fair share of relationships and sexual temptations that followed but I never slept with anyone. Just to step back a little I was touched inappropriately when I was 15. I will not get into the details of it but he was a junior at my high school and it happened on school property. I was very aware of physical temptations after that. Then I nearly slept with my first serious boyfriend in college when I was 22.  I told him that I could not go through with it. It did not feel right and I am so glad I didn’t.

Shortly after graduation I remember going to a thrift store. In the glass case, I saw a sterling silver ring with a heart on it.

My promise ring today.

I immediately knew I wanted to replace my gold ring with this one because I don’t like yellow gold. Also I got my gold ring re-sized and a few years later I gained weight and could not wear it anymore. So the image above is the ring I currently wear. I even had to cut out a piece of the band to make sure it can expand with my finger. My hands have a bad habit of swelling up sometimes. For a few years, I didn’t wear it because of that.

Recently I made a huge decision to delete my dating profile and put my ring back on. This came about shortly after I watched Camp Rock and Camp Rock 2 and remembered the Jonas Brothers. So I Googled them and remembered the whole thing about their promise rings and the fact that they did not understand what it was about but were forced to wear the rings anyways. Well I do understand and I will keep my word.

The promise is more about self-respect and self-control.

I promise to remain pure until marriage. This is supposed to be a purity of body and mind but since we are all human beings and our bodies were made to feel things and our minds think things; this promise is more about self-control. As human beings we will make mistakes. I mean I messed around a little in college but the basis of my personal promise is to respect myself and not sleep around with every guy I date. That promise still stands.

All in good timing I will meet a guy that understand this and respects my decision. Until then, the world sees me as undatable because sex is not part of my relationships. I don’t care what the world says. 

My promise will stand for a long time.

-Melody

P.S. If anyone wants to reach out to me for further private discussion on this topic then please email me from my profile page.

Am I Really Making the Right Choices? Part 3

Ok so I did a lot of research for this one. That's why it took me so long to get my thoughts together.

A few things come to mind when it comes to the choices I have made in my life. Most of them financially based. This is because I spend a lot of time thinking about living on my own and how expensive it can get. My biggest dream is to have my own place and be able to live on my own but that is a thought for another post.

In general, my finances are pretty well balanced. At the beginning of the month I pay various bills. Car payment and rent payment ( to my mom ) come first. Then there are expenses for gas, food and student loans. At the moment, I can't pay student loans as I do not have stable work. I will eventually get to that. I think I am doing pretty well making sure it is all taken care of. This is Adulting 101. Pay your bills and pay your taxes. But what about tithing? Isn't that important? God says to give him 10%. What does that really mean?

Tithing came from biblical days when the people of a city gave 10% of everything they had to the priests. Back then it was mostly cattle and crops and some money. Then the priests turned around and gave 10% to the government. Back in biblical days, tithing was a way to support to temple. What does this mean for todays synagogues and churchs? Same thing. Tithes go to support the religious establishments and to pay thier staff. In turn those workers give 10% of thier income to the church. It works kind of the same way.

Here's the issue. Currently, I do not tithe. I'll tell you why. I believe that tithing is very important as a family unit. As I am single and live with my family, I do not tithe. I think there are scriptures about this somewhere in the Bible. Let me tell you a little story. I was in my 20s and someone in my congregation got word that I do not tithe and told me that it was a sin not to tithe. I immediately bought it to the rabbi and he said that its okay. I live in my parents home and do not live on my own and cannot tithe due to small income. The scandal was put to rest right then and there. I have even had someone tell me that I should tithe what little I have. I am pretty sure that God does not want me to starve. I dismissed that suggestion. I do, however, tithe of my time.

I am a firm believer in tithing of my time in service to the Lord. I also believe that this is one of my callings. Ever since I could remember, I loved being the helper. Its like what Mr. Rodgers used to say, "In times of trouble, if you look around, you will always find helpers". I have been a servant for over 15 years for various synagogue functions. I even have my ears pierced in the cartilage as a symbol of servitude to God (Deut 15:17 and Exod 21:6).  I recently joined a church and I plan to be actively involved there too.

I believe that my life has progressed slower than average but it all happened the way it did for a reason.

Melody

What Does My Future Hold?

Well no one can predict the future.  I do have a vague idea of what the next year will look like. This is not set in stone or anything but I have had to make some serious decisions.

After this year I will no longer be doing the Alive After 5 events. There are many reasons. The main reason is that no one I invite shows up to these events because they are in the middle of the week and parking is confusing if I do not explain what to do. I just have no support for it anymore. This alone is very heartbreaking to me. One of the other reasons is that I only make about $10-$15 a night most nights. I used to make $50 a night on a good night. Many of the events this year were rained out also.

I may also do another search for orchestras that need flutists. I have auditioned for many orchestras but they just don't need flutists. Many up and coming high school kids are taking positions in community orchestras. I am not sure what is out there but hopefully I can look into other groups.

Starting the beginning of next year I will begin to record videos once a week (I am nearly done cleaning my office and nearly ready to make a recording space here). I may not put any of them out for a while but I want to get back into recording things. I am still wrapping my mind around the fact that Youtube is just not a career for me. I am turning it into a passionate hobby instead.

This blog will remain a huge part of my hobby and I will continue to write updates here as I go. I also plan to make a trip to Canada next year. I have always wanted to visit my friend there and enjoy Niagara Falls.

There is so much I want to do but I never seem to follow through or even get the opportunity to try. I am on a constant journey of self discovery. I think this blog is an excellent hobby for me to keep up with.

See you all in the next post,

Melody

Am I Really Making the Right Choices? Part 1

Many times throughout the day I ask myself. "Are you really making the right choices in your life?" While second guessing myself is both harmful and beneficial, I think it helps to be confident in my choices. Often the world says something is acceptable but I am over here thinking, "Would God approve?"or "Is that what I really believe inside?"

The first thing I have had on my mind a lot has been my romantic relationships. Should I date or should I try courtship? Or maybe a mixture of both. Start out casually dating while in a group of friends and then get more serious and start courting someone. Truthfully courtship scares me. I have had bad experiences with both types of relationship but if the right person comes along I am willing to give it a chance.

The second thing that I have on my mind a lot is my choice to remain abstinent until marriage. The world definitely has a strong opinion on this topic. I know plenty of people that have no problem sleeping with someone if it "feels right". I also know people on the opposite end of this topic that believe I am doing the right thing and that someone will be forced to fall in love with me for who I am and not what my body can do for them. That sounds great but I can tell you that I have had a ton of guys tell me they can't date me because I won't sleep with them. It is depressing when I remember those guys but hey it's their loss. 

The third thing, that goes along with the second thing, is marriage versus living together. I believe both have different meaning. When married, laws apply to you and your spouse and leaving is not that easy because of alimony and child support and all that. This includes joint bank accounts and joint taxes(if you live in the US). My personal belief is that divorce is only allowed if there was abuse, verbal or physical, or if there was cheating.  Both are severely destructive and hurtful. Living together is a completely different arrangement. You can easily leave and laws do not bind you at all. I feel like it is a way to get what you both want without tying yourself together by law. You can still have separate lives away from each other. Separate bank accounts and even separate bedrooms although you might still sleep in one room on occasion. I do not know the details of this lifestyle but it seems a little distant to me.  Marriage is about uniting as one. Living together is still two people living under one roof. 

Those three things were pertaining to relationships.  There are a few more things that come to mind but I will cover those in another post. 

--Melody