Courageous: Father Character Breakdown

Adam- Alex Kendrick
Javier- Robert Amaya

Nathan- Ken Bevel

David -Ben Davies

Shane- Kevin Downes

That list up there is the Fathers from the Kendrick Brother's new film Courageous.
I want to talk about each one. I believe that each of them learned a new lesson in fatherhood. In turn each man taught me a lesson about being a woman and -- when the time comes-- being a mom.
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Adam:  He seemed to take everything for granted and was set in his ways to be a good- enough father. Through a series of events he is humbled and literally bought to his knees before God. When he loses his beloved daughter, he is suddenly struck by a mix of emotions: Deep sadness that he will miss her milestones and regret that he did not dance with her the last time he saw her before she passed away. It was a tragic accident, but Adam learned that not all hope is lost and that he still a father to his son. He loved his little girl so much. He would always miss her. However he learned how to be a really good father by learning to lean on his faith and teach his son to do so too.

Adams story has taught me that to barely scrape by and in so doing, take everything for granted, is not a good idea. Adam learned that and so did I. Recently my phone was broken when trying to change out the screen. I was in hysterics for literally 24 hours. The following day I cried most of the morning. Then I went to work to pass down the information to my manager and found myself humbled before God in the Chapel of the church where I work. It was in that moment that I realized just how connected I was to my phone and how much it was controlling my life. I never saw it that way until this happened. I ended up spending $200 hard earned dollars to buy myself a new phone. I still haven't set up all my logins and I will probably take my time in doing so. To me it is now really important to have my phone for safety and to be in contact with important people.

Javier: Javier lives with his wife and two kids. One day Javier loses his job and is laid off. He is so discouraged and when he comes home his wife asks why he is home early. He tells her what happened. Naturally they were both upset but his wife said something that shook my faith. She said, we will find a way. She even offered to let him take the car so he can look for work. He said, How can I take the car and let my family walk. He couldn't do that. Their pure love and strong faith is what is going to get them through this current crisis. This is where Adam comes in. Javier is standing in the middle of the street, humbled before God in prayer when suddenly he hears a voice calling him by name. This is what sprouts a friendship between the two men. As the saying goes, the proof is in the pudding, Javier showed that he is a good worker. Adam happen to know a factory manager that needed a textile worker. Once again Javier has work but the manager decides to test him. Lie on a shipping report and get promoted. Javier knew what was at stake and decided to be honest. He ended up getting the promotion because of his faithfulness to God and his moral integrity.

I think we all know how Javier feels. We have all been there at some point in our lives. I have been through many jobs and I know what its like to have a very small salary. I am often discouraged by this because at the age of 28 I still have not moved out of my parents house. It is financially impossible. One thing after another tests my faith. I just keep praying. I was supposed to figure out my living arrangements this year but I got in a car accident just 7 days into the new year. I was in shambles. I had no job and no health insurance. My temp job just ended and I was so discouraged. I felt just like Javier. Well about a month later I got a job as a security guard. It paid better than my other jobs and I enjoy that kind of work. 7 months later I am paying my mother rent for my room in the house, and I am paying for my new car. I have come a long way.  Things are still rough at work but I am worshiping while I wait for whatever is going to happen. This year has been the year of patience.

Nathan: Nathan is a the new guy on the police force. He is a real family man with a wife and three kids. He has a baby son, a middle son and a daughter named Jade. She is 13 and getting to the age where she likes boys. Her parents do not allow her to date until she is 17. As her father Nathan knows what he needs to do. The young man that is interested in Jade is clearly bad news and we later find out was in a gang for a time. In the meantime Nathan takes Jade to a nice restaurant and explains her worth. He explains that he wants the change to give her away when she wants to get married and that above all she should respect her self. He gives her a promise ring and she happily accepts that her father is showing her what a true gentleman looks like and that she should wait until marriage as a sign that she respects herself.

Nathans story is one that I wish I had. I wish my father was the kind of man to make sure that I respect myself. I wish he was the kind of father that would show his daughter how a man should treat her. Since he never did those things I had to discover my worth on my own. This is really hard to do. For many years I dated guy after guy. I learned what I like and don't like. An elder at my congregation has stepped up and taught me how I should be treated. He is a little older than my father but is filling in a gap that was missing for much of my young adult life. The elder never gave me a promise ring but he does tell me how proud he is of me as a young lady and how far I have come over the years. That means more than he will ever understand. I am in a serious courtship right now and I know that I value myself now more than I ever have. The guy I am dating is so respectful of me and has faith that will help build this relationship like no other boyfriend I have ever had. Maybe I am jumping a gun but that is how I currently feel.

David: David's story is so common in todays society. Do some stupid things in college and get a girl pregnant. David did all that. He even asked his girlfriend to get an abortion which she refused. For many years after that David refused to even acknowledge that he is a father to a little girl named Olivia. Even though he is not in a relationship with her mom anymore, David quickly understands that as a Father he needs to be there for his kid. Along with a financial contribution, David made a commitment to his daughter.

My best friend just went through all this a few years ago. Long story short, the father of her child never did what David did. She was left to raise her baby girl on her own. No one should have to do that and I am pretty sure that her daughters father will never step up. I have stepped up as her best friend through all of this and I plan to teach her daughter by example.

Lastly...Shane
Shane:Shane's story really saddened me. Shane has a son from a previous marriage and currently works for child support and gets to see his son every other weekend. During the course of the movie Shane is a police officer and seems to do really well when on the chase. He and his partners have caught many criminals and busted them with drugs. The evidence department often came up short for the amount of drugs that were deposited. Adam eventually catches on and decides to trap Shane in the lie that he was weaving. Shane may have been a good father but he really messed up. This situation was bad enough to land him in prison for a very long time. From behind plate glass, he begged Adam to to be a father figure to his son. Adam agreed.

I cannot fathom what that situation was like for all of Shane's family. I had a friend that was so addicted to drugs that he did not speak to his family for a very long time. I wrote him letters when he was in rehab. I tried to befriend him. All to no avail but his family never stopped praying for him. I could see that his parents were heartbroken but they released him to God. That was all that could be done.



That was my summary of Courageous. The story is amazing and it weaves together well. This is very similar to how God weaves our circumstances together for the greater good, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer. Ultimately I lean on a verse in the bible. Jeremiah 29:11-13

Melody out!

10 Second Rant

People need to learn the concept of personal space.

People are always standing right next to me wherever I go. Its like I am trying to pay and I don't need you seeing my pin number or anything. Take a step back.

I get really uncomfortable to the point of panic attack when someone does that to me. I politely ask them to move and they don't. I get really upset and sometimes drop my entire basket and leave.

This also happens when the beginning of the line is 3 feet behind the register area. People like to stand right next to me.

Okay I feel a little better now.

-Melody

Dating and the Online World

Online you can be anything you want to be. You can be an Opera singer in the Entertainment Industry or a Famous Youtuber. Sometimes we stretch the truth to make ourselves look more amazing than we are. This is not something you want to do on purpose.

I strive for truthfulness and honesty. I do not want to make myself into something I am not. I have been on this unnamed dating site for a little over 2 years and I run into this problem more times than you can count. I personally write things that are completely true but when I read them I can see how any of those statements can be over analyzed. I do list that I play music and do Youtube but I quickly clarify that those are hobbies and that I do have a job and a car and take care of myself for the most part.

I saw a guy once that wrote that he wanted to be a professional musician or a scientist of some kind. I start talking to them and quickly figure out that this is a goal of theirs and they have not achieved it yet. One such case involved a guy that wrote that he wanted to be a professional Opera singer. He was also legally blind (partially sighted). Great, I thought, I could get my very own Andrea Botticelli. I went on 2 dates with him and I was sorely disappointed when he was not a professional level singer and also put on his Facebook that he was in the Entertainment Industry. That was not entirely true. I was also caught by surprise when he told me his family covers all his expenses while he peruses his dreams. This to me was a huge red flag.

Bottom line, I am not willing to carry a grown man on my financial shoulders, nor would I ever feel comfortable living on someone else's family money. I decided to interview a couple that included a sighted woman and a blind man. I asked them about my situation and how they made it work. It turns out the man was completely blind and he used the Center for the Visually Impaired and has a job and a way to support his wife. It was possible to have a relationship with a blind person as long as they pulled their weight and it was completely possible for someone with any level of impairment to do that. However the couple made me painfully aware that it is very likely that this Opera singer would likely stay in his financial arrangement forever. I asked Opera singer about this and he said he was not happy with his arrangement. But I knew deep inside that he was just telling me something to make me stay. A hope that he would change. I know better than that.

I would say that I am far from perfect but I have my life together in a manner of speaking. I do still live with my family but for a couple of specific reasons. I just got out of college not long ago and my mother is the only bread winner in the family and she needs my help. I pay my mother rent each month. On top of that I pay for my credit card and car payments and put away money in my savings account. I would say I am doing the best I can in the situation I am in right now. I have a full-time job right now. I have IBS but I still function each day. My parents do not give me money. They have taught me that I have to get on my feet and do what it takes to survive.

Anyways I am going to pay some bills and go have some fun.
Melody out!

Manipulation: A story

I have just faced manipulation for the first time in my life. Most of the time I only heard about it happening to other people. Thankfully I am strong enough that it does not effect me. I stand by what I believe is right. Let me tell you a story that might help someone in a similar situation. No names shall be used here.

Let me start from the beginning. I am on a dating site. I know what you are thinking. This is a breeding ground for those kinds of people. Well I put in place a strict screening process. Most of the time I block guys that are completely not a match at all. Abs and indecent exposure runs rampant but I made the filters screen out those guys too. Sadly a manipulator got through my screening process. I did go to meet him.

I met up with him at a board game convention (this detail is very important). It was really nice to finally re-connect with my old friends from the board gaming community. The fact that I had a date with one was really awesome. I had a great time. The first thing that really annoyed me was that he used sarcasm in every sentence. He embarrassed me in front of my friends by calling attention to my flaws. I laughed it off as best I could. At that point I was debating about coming back the next night after work.

The next night there were more events at the convention so I asked him if he wanted me to come back. He texted me, "Sure I guess" Then proceeded to ask me if we were going to start dating. (I have only been out with him once! Whats the rush?). I explained that I did not want to lead him on at all but I did not want to rush into anything and I would just rather be friends. I had my reasons for not wanting to date him. That was my choice, not to be taken personally. Well he was naturally very frustrated that I had said I would not date him because he is not a believer, among other things.

Later that night we talked until 3am. We went over a ton of topics. I came to figure out that we disagree on just about everything else including religion and politics. I told him that even if I were to put religion aside, we do not have anything else in common, except board games. I ended the conversation because it was late and my dad was really worried for my safety. He walked me to my car. He tried to hug me multiple times and I kept pushing away. He hugged me again and then kissed me. It was late and I was tired but I knew this felt very wrong. He texted me the next day. I said the kiss was awkward and my answer was no. I will not date him. He replied. "It was awkward because you did not kiss me back"

A few days pass and he texted me just to say hi and then I did not hear from him for weeks.

Last night I got some texts from him. He asked how I was. Then he asked if I had any luck on the dating site. I said I did not want to talk about it. He said, "About what?" It was obvious what I was referring to but I elaborated saying that I had messaged a few guys that were excellent matches but no meet ups yet. We talked about a few board games we learned and then suddenly he said this. "I don't know why I even texted you. You used me. " I asked how and he said that I used him to meet up with other gamers. I said I already knew those people and that he should leave me alone. He said, "I'm trying"

During this whole time he would use phases like, "You don't even like me so why are you talking to me." To me this was my red flag. At first everything seems great and fun. But then paranoia sets in. Manipulation is so hard to spot sometimes. With the above phrase he could make some girl feel bad for rejecting him and start dating him but then dump him. Sometimes I am afraid that if I go to the next board game convention that he might try to hurt me. I have a contingency plan for that when the time comes.

I do not want someone to hurt me because they got rejected. I think I escaped this just in time. I plan to block his number from contacting me. I should not have to live in fear because I rejected someone.

My philosophy is that if you get knocked down, you get back up again and move on to something else. Something better.

Fluteplayer777 out!

Cyberbullying: Please stop!

I keep going through this type of thing. I am not sure what can be done. I have tried to take my own advice from my previous post about this. Blocking is the only solution. Most of my so-called friends do not stand up for others in their own comment sections on the things that they post. Its sad. This should be a first defence.

I have been told that I am flat out wrong and I got all offended and now am playing the victim. Its not true. I also asked him to stop 3 times. When someone won't stop attacking you then you know this is a cyber bully. The fastest way to make it stop is to hit that report and block button.

My friend may never do anything about it but I took a stand and blocked the bully.

There is a huge difference between hurt and offense!!!

This kind of thing will never happen on my comment sections. I do not allow people to get hurt on my threads and social media pages. Its not ok. If it happens send me a message and I will take a stand.

Lets all take a stand on our own social media pages and take a moment to stop a cyberbully from hurting someone.

Fluteplayer777 out!