Friday January 9th I was in a car accident that took my most valuable possession: my car, Lucy. With that my whole world crumbled around me. I have nothing left but my faith and my health. Of course I still have a place to sleep and a roof over my head. I am grateful for that too.
Today I am hurting all over. Today I am humbled. With everything gone I am forced to start from square one. It’s like I am back in time. Back when I was kicked out of Lab school. I was so sure that I was meant to be there. For the next three months I was lost. I had no clue what was next. Then I picked myself back up and went back to school. I think I can do the same here.
It’s interesting. I had my car and a job but no boyfriend and now it’s the opposite. No car, no job but I am sort of seeing someone. I have no clue what God is doing but I think it will be better when this all balances out. That is all I want: stability and certainty.
So I took a walk. I went down to the giant parking lot where I learned how to drive. Naturally I broke down. Then I went into the church where they held the Baccalaureate service for my high school graduation. I sat there for about 10 minutes. Praying and reflecting. I came to the realization that maybe God doesn’t think I can balance it all right now. I guess He had to humble me and break me to make me understand that. He wants me happy but balanced on His terms.
This is just my thoughts on all this. I will be recording a video for this week.